


Ain't Nothin' But a Peanut

by DyadamDriver



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Apparently I do too, Ben Solo the office grinch, Facebook Prompt, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Inspired By Tumblr, Peanut M&Ms, Peanut allergy, Protective Ben Solo, Rey Solo, Rey needs Jesus, White Knight Ben Solo, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-13 17:04:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20585990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DyadamDriver/pseuds/DyadamDriver
Summary: To most people in her life, it seemed bizarre how much Rey Johnson hated peanut butter. She hated the way it tasted, she hated the way it smelled and she wasn't even going to get started on the texture of it or how it got stuck in every little nook and cranny of her mouth. But the thing she hated the most was the fact that no one could ever understand that it was out of her control. It didn't matterwhyRey didn't like the stuff, people just didn’t listen. Or they didn’t care. But what happens when one night, Rey makes a snap decision that could either make her or break her and the last person she expects comes to her rescue?Or: The biggest lie Rey Johnson ever told and how Ben Solo came to protect it.





	Ain't Nothin' But a Peanut

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so in my defence, I was drunk and left unsupervised when I came across this image in the Reylo Facebook group, and I was encouraged to base a quick one shot around it. This is complete crack, I was tempted to make it smutty but I'm not particularly sure anyone wants to see that!
> 
> I've cropped out the original posters name just on the off chance (I have made her aware of the story) that she isn't happy about her name being made public.
> 
> Big shoutout to PeaceBlessingsPeyton & Tiffinities for taking the time to beta this monstrosity for me, I can't really apologise enough :')

**Present day**

“You ready to call it a night soon?” Rey asked as she and her husband swayed to the beat of _ Time After Time,_ her head resting on his chest as she felt his hands tighten on her waist.

They had spent the day celebrating the wedding of her husband’s childhood friends, Armitage and Gwendoline Hux and despite having a fun filled day of mingling with friends, sampling rich, indulgent foods and party games, it had been a very long day for the Solo’s.

They began the day incredibly hungover after the respective bachelor and bachelorette parties that ran into the early hours that morning. If Ben hadn’t been Armitage’s best man and Rey one of Gwen’s bridesmaids, they would have been happy to have slept in an extra three hours and gotten up when there was at least some light creeping into their bedroom window.

It was a magical day that reminded her of their own wedding a year prior, but the only thing going through her mind, other than how good her man looked in a grey three piece suit, was how desperately she wanted to ravage the multiple bottomless bowls of peanut M&Ms that were littered around the venue. Despite her desperate desires, she couldn’t without someone seeing her and finding out she had been living a lie for the past four years. She had at one point grabbed a handful and gone to hide in the ladies room to eat them. She really hoped no one saw that, especially her husband.

As Ben swayed with her, his chin resting on her head, she felt him nod. He had been quiet for the last hour of the reception, even disappearing to the men’s room while Hux and Gwen cut their cake and Rey couldn’t help but be worried about the strange behavior despite knowing her husband was a naturally quiet man. It _ had _ been a long day so she decided to leave it alone, for now at least.

When the song had ended and was followed by the _ Cha-Cha slide, _Ben let go of his wife, kissing her softly on her forehead and took her hand before they went to find the happy couple to thank them and say their goodbyes. Rey couldn’t wait to wipe off all of the makeup that was making her face feel much heavier than it really was, especially the glittery eyeshadow that Gwen insisted on. The way the flickering disco lights kept reflecting and catching her eyes every time she moved was grating on her.

When Rey had finally found Ben after he had left to use the men’s room one more time, they walked hand in hand to the front of the lavish mansion of the Hux family where Ben handed the fob to the valet and they stood in silence.

The chill in the air had Rey shivering despite her thick winter coat and she sought to warm her hands by hiding them in her husband’s jacket pockets. But just as she moved her hands, Ben yelped and flew backwards away from her.

“What was that?!” She asked her beloved and tried to at least pull him back towards her. Is he hurt? Or laughably too hot? Or, as Rey began to panic, maybe he wanted space from her. Her earlier worries when he kept disappearing to the restroom at least once an hour, twice in the last hour, returning to her.

“Sorry sweetheart, I’m sorry,” Ben crooned as though he could read her mile a minute thoughts. After stuffing his gloves into the pockets, he grasped her hands in his and blew on them to attempt to keep them warm and he could feel her start to relax again.

“It’s just been a long day and the insane amount of people and noise have overstimulated me.” He kissed both her cheeks, her nose and then her lips before the valet arrived with their Silencer.

She understood what he meant. As much as her husband had improved when it came to how he interacted with other people. He could now stomach sitting near Poe during their lunch break and no longer made his assistant Mitaka sweat profusely when requesting certain documents, but he was never going to be a social butterfly and that was okay.

It was a short but just as tiring drive home, Rey for one couldn’t wait to get out of her bloody heels and her too tight bra that was hidden beneath the plunge line of her bridesmaid dress.

After parking in their driveway, they slowly walked up along the cobbled path to the front door with Rey holding onto Bens arm to make sure she didn’t fall over. Thank god for the cars ‘Follow Me Home’ headlights, it would have been impossible for Rey to walk straight in heels without a light of some sort.

As Rey put her key into the lock, Ben pulled his fob out and locked up the Silencer, the headlights finally dimming and leaving them in darkness. 

They had barely gotten in the door before Ben, without taking off his coat, grabbed his wife’s hand and dragged her up to their bedroom with no argument from her.

“I have a present for you,” he said, his voice gravelly from overuse and shouting over music as he started to strip as Rey stood beside the bed quietly as he draped his coat on the plaid throw blanket and gently laid his suit jacket, waistcoat and lastly his pants on the bed beside it, a loud clacking sound coming from his pockets that reminded Rey of her childhood marbles phase.

She wasn’t sure if this was an exhausted attempt at a striptease or not, given that he’d had only three hours of sleep the night before, but Rey wasn’t complaining as her eyes, as always, were drawn to his chest and thick biceps as he removed his shirt and tie.

“I like where this is going,” she purred, running her hand up and down the corded muscles of his left arm, feeling the goosebumps and hair covering his skin stand up on end. She took her hand away from his arm and moved it lower, her fingertips gently grazing the skin of his abdomen.

That was, until he grabbed her arm and stopped her movements, smirking at her twitching eye. “That’s not what I meant but afterwards I promise.”

He let go of Rey’s arm and tipped his coat upside down, watching as his wife’s jaw gradually dropped lower and lower as the seemingly bottomless pockets of Ben's coat, his waistcoat and suit jacket deposited what had to be equivalent to four of Armitage and Gwen's eight— because of course Rey had counted— large crystal bowls full to the brim of M&Ms that were spread across the venue into the center of their queen sized bed. 

* * *

**2014**

To most people in her life, it seemed bizarre how much Rey Johnson hated peanut butter. She hated the way it looked, she hated the way it smelled and tasted and she hadn’t even got started on the texture.. At first it was just the lumpy texture of the crunchy kind that Rey couldn’t stand, but after trying the smooth variation as a child and was left with a large amount of the stuff coating the roof of her mouth for hours on end at school with no relief as the taste just began to get more and more sour as time went on, she had quickly decided she just didn’t like any variant of the substance. Maybe it could have just been the fact that as the child of a cash strapped single mum, peanut butter was cheap, cheerful and filling. It wasn’t until her mother married her stepfather Rian that she told her mum that peanut butter was just not for her. Her mother respected her choice, but everyone else? No.

Rey couldn’t understand the growing fad of peanut butter flavored things, Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups immediately sprung to mind, hell they even had peanut butter Häagen-Dazs ice cream. 

Some people said it was a food enhancement, but Rey begged to differ. As she got older and the news of her dislike of the product spread around her friends and co-workers, she was repeatedly encouraged to try many, many different brands of the stuff as though they didn’t hold the same key ingredient that she hated so much. 

It somewhat infuriated Rey as person after person questioned not only her taste buds, but her sanity too. It was as if they were discussing something much more important, like her decision not to have children not that maybe, just maybe, she just didn’t fucking like peanuts. But no, maybe she just hasn’t come across the _ right _brand of the stuff or maybe she’ll change her mind as she gets older.

It seemed hypocritical in a sense, because everyone that came to mind as Rey thought about it had some sort of aversion to something. 

Susan? Leaves the room as soon as someone opens a thermos of tomato soup. Helen? She gags the moment someone— most likely Poe Dameron— brandishes an egg salad sandwich. Karen? Don’t even get her started on fish, you’ll never hear the end of it. _ No one _bats an eyelid at those things. But the minute Rey turns down a nutter butter it’s like she’s just slaughtered Leia Organa’s prized French Bulldog Gary in cold blood during the company picnic.

But alas, it didn’t matter what reason Rey gave anyone. Whether it was that she just didn’t like peanut butter, or that most of the common brands were full of palm oil and it was the reason for mass deforestation, she’d even gone as far as telling Paige Tico that she just couldn’t stomach the high fat content.. as they sat with a large three cheese pizza between them. People just didn’t listen. Or they didn’t care. 

That was, until she was watching an episode of The Big Bang Theory in bed one night and an idea was neatly dropped into her lap. The idea seemed scandalous at first, as Rey contemplated Howard Wolowitz’s deadly allergy to peanuts that made him swell up like a puffer fish if he so much as licked a nut.

* * *

“You’re _ what?!” _

“Allergic to peanuts,” Rose answered her sister’s repeated questions as she once again read the poster about peanuts being banned from the workplace that had been printed and circulated by Luke Skywalker himself, “Honestly Paige how many times does Rey need to tell you?” 

Finn, an unwilling participant in the conversation clapped his hand over his mouth in horror. “Rey, I’ve been calling you Peanut for years! Why didn’t you say something?!”

Paige rolled her eyes. “I know that Rosie, I just don’t understand the-“

She was cut off as Poe poked his head around the doorframe of the break room that the three girls were huddled in, his dark eyebrows wiggling expressively in a way that kind of reminded Rey of a schnauzer. “Ayy Rey! Is it true about the allergy?”

She hummed around her mouthful of hummus, holding up her pointer finger before washing her lunch down with a mouthful of water before answering. “Oh yeah, big secret. Finn don’t panic I’m not insulted.”

“But why?” 

“Paige you sound like a child bugging their parents with incessant questions.” Her sister grumbled as she stabbed at her tuna, sweetcorn and pasta salad. 

The discussion was once again put on hold as Ben Solo entered the room, the pure width and height of his buff body making it feel like it had just halved in size as he strode over to the Keurig with purpose. 

“Bloody hell does Johnson’s body rejecting peanuts warrant a full on interrogation? I can hear you screeching two rooms over.” 

Rey looked up and met his dark eyes briefly, her cheeks flaming under his gaze. His velvety voice did things to her that she could never understand. She and Ben Solo had never spent more than a few minutes in each other’s presence more than a handful of times and she didn’t even realise that he knew her name. Despite this, her eyes were always drawn to him, whether he was the center of attention or not. Her mind automatically cataloguing the dark beauty marks that littered his milky skin and she constantly found herself wanting to map out the smattering of moles across his body as though they were stars in the sky.

Strangely, Rey didn’t care very much what anyone else thought of her barefaced lie, but him? His impression of her was important for reasons she couldn’t quite fathom yet. 

Poe snorted as he sipped at his own coffee, ruining the moment and bringing Rey back into the room as he discreetly stole grapes from Paige’s lunch bag. “Body rejection? Solo are you implying Rey’s got a chest burster about to claw its way out from beneath her blouse?”

“Eat dick, Dameron.” Came Solo’s swift reply as he took his steaming mug of coffee and left the room just as quickly as he had arrived.

Rey had to bite her lip to stop herself from outrightly laughing at his retort, but instead was just grateful that the conversation had moved on to something other than her ‘allergy’ or her body beneath the blouse. Her own thoughts however were firmly somewhere— or someone— else.

* * *

**2016 **

Despite her _ issue _concerning peanut butter, there was one thing that Rey still positively adored; Peanut M&Ms. But thanks to the ridiculous white lie that she wished she had thought through a bit more, it was something she could no longer enjoy in the presence of other people. 

However, the lie that she had initially regretted spreading was something she soon grew to love , after two years of charades and secretly gorging on M&Ms, it brought her the very thing she had never believed for a moment that she would ever have; an equal, a better half, a family.

In the two years since her _ peanut allergy _ had manifested, she had most definitely become careless as she brought packets of the candy to work with her and sat eating them where anybody could just walk in and catch her, ending the game _ and _the peace about the lack of peanut butter in her life.

Now, instead of the unsolicited advice of trying every other brand of nut butters of any kind, she found herself becoming the target of her coworkers, clients and friends pity. She was nothing but the poor twenty seven year old woman that had never had the _ pleasure _of tasting peanut butter. Some people felt too worried about offending her to even discuss it and as much as Rey hated it, it was much easier to cope with pity than pushiness. 

So the more time that passed, the more careless she became until the day came that someone finally stumbled upon her sordid little secret.

It was a very warm day in June as Rey sat in the air conditioned break room of Resistance headquarters. Everyone had already left for lunch, choosing to enjoy the sun while Rey decided she would much rather have a later lunch so she could get on top of her workload than sitting outside baking under the sun. 

She sat at a table, pouring over the stack of paperwork that had been neglected for the past few days and munching on some Peanut M&Ms. Rey had just finished the second to last page of the contracts when she felt the packet of candy leave her hand as they were slapped away from her and were now scattered and rolling all over the break room floor. 

“_What was that for_?!” She shrieked at the interloper— Ben Solo— as she jumped up, glaring up at him as though he had just kicked his mother's pride and joy, Gary.

The manager scoffed and stretched his long arms out, the corded muscles of his upper arms that were usually hidden by a shirt and jacket, flexing with the movement before crossing his arms. “What am _ I _ doing?! What are _ you _ doing?! _ Are you nuts or just suicidal_?!” 

“What are you talking about_?” _She snarled as she tried desperately to claw past Ben to regroup her runaway M&Ms, not wanting any to go to waste. 

He cleared his throat and pointed to the big allergy board on the wall of the room, more specifically at her name that was highlighted in red followed by the words _ peanut allergy. _

She blushed furiously, forgetting that it was because of her and her alone that the entire workforce of the small office was no longer allowed to bring any items that contained or held the potential contamination of peanuts to work.

Rey bent down as she scrabbled against the floor tiles, intentionally not holding her coworkers gaze. Ben Solo held the undisputed title of the office grinch and as of yet she had not heard him utter one positive word to any of the other employees. 

“Jesus Christ, would you stop trying to pick up the fucking chocolate Johnson, and tell me where the fuck your EpiPen is because I’ll be damned if my uncles favourite employee dies on our lunch break.” 

Ben snatched her handbag up from the table, the movement scattering multiple contracts to the floor and started to rifle through it as quickly as humanly possible. “It’ll put him right off of his salad and I will never hear the end of it.” 

She couldn’t help but snort and started to giggle at his comment, too crippled with giggles to remain crouched on the tips of her toes and she fell back onto her arse. 

Ben stopped rummaging through her bag and looked down at her, one thick eyebrow raised in disbelief. Here she was, only minutes away from anaphylactic shock and instead of injecting herself with her EpiPen, she was all but rolling on the floor wasting precious time for the sake of peanuts and chocolate.

Her giggles gradually began to subside as she realised that the most uptight and brash, albeit handsome man she had ever had the pleasure to meet was too busy panicking over her imminent death to realise he was still clutching her handbag to his chest looking scandalised.

“You asked me if I was nuts,” she said and held up the bag of Peanut M&Ms, wiping the laughter induced tears from her eyes. Ben didn’t answer, he was too busy trying to work out what the hell had just happened. 

Rey sighed, knowing that she needed to set the poor man straight, lest the guilt got to him and he involved the emergency services.

“We should walk,” she said as she took her bag from the perpetually confused man, gently grasping his hand and pulling him out of the break room and to the lift with no complaints.

“So let me get this straight,” Ben said, pausing to drop the sandwich he was eating back into his lunchbox before using the napkin that was beside him to wipe his hands.

“To avoid having to explain that you simply do not like peanut butter, you told everyone you have a life threatening peanut allergy and secretly hoard peanut M&Ms?” 

“I wouldn’t say I hoard them..”

“Rey I literally just saw you crawling around the floor hysterically trying to pick candy up as though you were an addict and they were your next fix.”

She sighed, she clearly wasn’t going to get away with this, her only option now was damage control. “Fine, yes you’re right.”

“Then why all the smoke and mirrors?”

“Because everyone seems to think if you like peanuts or in this case, chocolate coated peanuts then you must like peanut butter. And that liking and not liking peanut butter is a personal choice rather than the fact that my taste buds are just assholes,” she grumbled. “Then they get defensive and set out to change my mind.”

Rey played with her hands as she sat opposite him, the very tip of her knee just about brushing his brawny ones. “I probably should have realised something like this would happen eventually. Of course if it was going to be anyone, it _ had _to be you.”

“Should I be offended?” he asked, his brow pinched and uncertainty in his eyes.

“Uh, no. No I meant— nothing.”

They fell into a surprisingly comfortable silence as Ben continued to tear off bits of his sandwich and pop them into his mouth. 

That was, until he cleared his throat and started laughing.

“Maybe next time you could just wrap your M&Ms in a brown paper bag to avoid the theatrics of the office grump trying to save your life.”

Rey just blinked at him as he screwed up the paper lunch bag and threw it across the bench and into the bin behind her. Not only had she just witnessed Ben Solo of all people laughing but he’d just made a joke at his own expense. She started wondering if she really did have a peanut allergy and she’d died on the break room floor.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked, his warm whisky coloured eyes searching her own from behind his glasses. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.”

She hadn’t really stopped to think about it before now given that she and Ben had never spoken in or outside of work, but beneath all of the seriousness and hotheadedness, he was kind and considerate.

She shook her head and smiled, “Sorry, it's just bizarre, I’ve never seen you so much as have a friendly conversation with anyone, let alone joking around and offering to protect my sordid little secret.”

As they packed up and threw away their trash ready to go back to work, Rey didn’t quite know how she should be feeling about spending time with Ben Solo. She felt some sort of connection with him, but the man was a closed book and it was impossible to tell what he thought or felt about someone else. 

All she knew was that when Poe and Kaydel mentioned a quick drink at the local bar after work that evening, she didn’t expect to find herself wedged between Ben and the exposed brick wall outside in the alley, while he thrusted against her jegging clad crotch, her legs wrapped tightly around his waist and lips suckling at his neck while she grinded against him. 

Later, as they almost fell into Rey's apartment, they both realised that whatever was going on between them, it was not a one time thing.

* * *

**Present Day**

“H— Bloody hell Ben,” she shrieked before laughing, “there has to be $50 worth of M&Ms here! You know we have them in our pantry right?”

Ben simply smiled as he watched her pick up a small handful of candy and popped several into her mouth before closing her eyes and humming contentedly.

“I’ve been sneakily accumulating them for you all night, I could see the pain in your eyes and I felt bad that you couldn’t eat any of them without taking them to the bathroom with you.”

His wife almost choked on her mouthful of candy and spun to face him, a deep blush spreading across her cheeks. “You saw that?!” 

He rolled his eyes at her cluelessness. “Of course I did,” Ben replied as he stepped up against her, pushing her back so her calves were flush against the bottom of the bed as he pushed a lock of hair behind her ear, “I see everything you do.”

Rey gave him a blinding smile as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him with her as she fell back against the mattress, her hair forming a chestnut halo around her head. She didn’t know what she did to deserve such a sweet man doting on her, but whatever it was she was glad she did it.

It couldn’t be comfortable, having millions of hard pieces of candy digging into your back especially with someone of his size laying on top of you, Ben wondered briefly. With his hands splayed out against the duvet beneath them he tried to take some of his weight off of her however he didn’t get far with her arms still around his neck.

Rey kissed him before he could verbalise his concern, his eyes fluttering shut as she deepened it. An explosion of the rich combinations of chocolate and peanuts filled his mouth, the sweetness of the flavours just as mouth-watering as the woman beneath him.

He groaned as she pulled back for air, a blissed out smile spread across her face as she looked up at him.

“Would you judge me for wanting to have sex on a bed full of chocolate?” Rey asked breathlessly.

Bens laughter was muffled as he started kissing a pathway down her neck, wishing as he got to her chest that she had undressed at the same time he did, before looking up at her and grinning wolfishly. “Please. If I haven’t judged you for lying about your peanut allergy, then I’m not judging you for us fucking on the mountain of candy I stole on your behalf this evening. How very Wolf Of Wall Street of you Mrs. Solo.” He winked and helped himself to a few pieces of chocolate. “Actually, I may judge you if you eat them afterwards so I’d get your fill of them now if I were you.”

Rey placed her hands on his chest and pushed him up gently so she could get up and take her dress off and as she stripped, she felt the hungry gaze of her partner in crime on the back of her head.

She crawled back onto the bed, pushing Ben onto his back so she could straddle him. 

If someone had told her that back on that fateful afternoon when Ben walked into the break room and smacked the little yellow packet out of her hands, that not only would she marry him, but that she would be fucking him on a bed full of Peanut M&Ms that he had smuggled out of his best friends wedding— She would have called them nuts.

Maybe there _ was _something Rey Solo liked about peanut butter after all.


End file.
